Tonight he came back. Tonight he said sorry, and some truths were disclosed. Tonight I told him I love him.
'Thank you,' he said.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Lines Crossed
'Umalis ka na.' So leave. Those were the last words I said to him yesterday. It looked like he wanted to. It looked like he was done using me.
The weekend was spent at Puerto Galera. He said he's never been to the beach before but despite this, most of his time was spent arguing with his aunt -- according to him, at least -- over text about the fact that he never asked for permission to go. I tried not to mind but as bull-headed as he can be, how can an argument stretch for a day and a half? It did stretch, however, from when we were still at the beach the day prior, to the following day when we were about to leave, even until the bus ride back to Manila.
He wanted to stop for pizza before heading home, so we walked over to Amici after getting off from the bus at Pasay Road. He was lagging as, yes, his god-fucking nose was still on his god-fucking phone. But there was nary a word from me until we got to the restaurant. If I was going to be angry with him, it's not going to be weak and half-assed; I wanted my anger to build up to something... more. We were waiting for our food to be served and as if on cue, he affected a startled look, and he said without taking his eyes off his mobile phone that his aunt was on her way to the boarding house and he had to leave immediately. Lies. A voice, dark and rasping, clawed at my mind. So leave.
'Sorry for disappointing you,' his message came not 10 minutes after he stepped out of the restaurant. I finished both of our drinks. 'I knew this would happen. If this is the last time, it will be very memorable. Take care.'
He was never very smart but I knew every word was a trap, if unwittingly set -- crude yet delicate. I never responded but then again I could never come up with anything less biting and less melodramatic than 'So you're done using me.' It's hard not to feel used getting back from a trip one paid for entirely, and then being left high and dry, yes?
So are you done using me? I highly doubt it. But we'll see.
The weekend was spent at Puerto Galera. He said he's never been to the beach before but despite this, most of his time was spent arguing with his aunt -- according to him, at least -- over text about the fact that he never asked for permission to go. I tried not to mind but as bull-headed as he can be, how can an argument stretch for a day and a half? It did stretch, however, from when we were still at the beach the day prior, to the following day when we were about to leave, even until the bus ride back to Manila.
He wanted to stop for pizza before heading home, so we walked over to Amici after getting off from the bus at Pasay Road. He was lagging as, yes, his god-fucking nose was still on his god-fucking phone. But there was nary a word from me until we got to the restaurant. If I was going to be angry with him, it's not going to be weak and half-assed; I wanted my anger to build up to something... more. We were waiting for our food to be served and as if on cue, he affected a startled look, and he said without taking his eyes off his mobile phone that his aunt was on her way to the boarding house and he had to leave immediately. Lies. A voice, dark and rasping, clawed at my mind. So leave.
'Sorry for disappointing you,' his message came not 10 minutes after he stepped out of the restaurant. I finished both of our drinks. 'I knew this would happen. If this is the last time, it will be very memorable. Take care.'
He was never very smart but I knew every word was a trap, if unwittingly set -- crude yet delicate. I never responded but then again I could never come up with anything less biting and less melodramatic than 'So you're done using me.' It's hard not to feel used getting back from a trip one paid for entirely, and then being left high and dry, yes?
So are you done using me? I highly doubt it. But we'll see.
