Turn Around. Walk Away. Keep Silent.

I missed you. Never mind the fact that I'm lousy when it comes to keeping in touch. You used to at least call me every three days or so, even if you know I'll just end up bitching to you. Now you don't even txt me. Not even a lousy forwarded message.

Funny what reminded me about you -- my haircut. I was taking a bath and then all it took was a split second glance at the bathroom mirror to make me remember how I used to say I didn't like your hair. I thought it was too boring. I guess karma made a high-tech leap now because, well, surprise surprise, I now have the same hair as you do.

Did.

I don't know how your hair looks like now. The last time we saw each other was when you needed company one Saturday afternoon because you were three hours early at an appointment with your friends at Glorietta. I remember telling you you had really ugly hair then. As usual you just laughed it off and smacked me lightly with the Lord of The Rings 2003 Calendar which you gave me before I said I had to go. I remember telling you you had the lamest taste in gifts, but I thanked you anyway.

You knew I was just kidding. I do that to you all the time. It was you who even said, "Ang lambing mo naman." It was you who put up with my... eccentricities because you said you loved that about me. You saw right through me and you never gave up on me, no, not like the others before. You were the little prince, and I was the fox you had to tame. Heh... and ironically, you're straight.

You would never admit this, but I remember you telling me you love me. Though I was deprived of the chance to reply because right after you said the last syllable, you hung up. I thought of calling you up, but I guess both of us needed that time to think. And then it was never brought up again.

There was this one time I thought of mentioning it, but I guess being in the middle of a long FX ride is neither the time nor place to bring it up. Funny, that FX ride was on the way home. My home. I don't know what came over you but just after I closed the door and said see you soon, you opened it again and jumped right beside me. You said you thought maybe I could use the company. I was supposed to argue with you then, to tell you in case you forgot, you had some... Iglesia service whatever in 30 minutes, and the ride from Cainta to Ayala isn't exactly a stroll. But I didn't want you to leave. What I did want was to hold your hand. But again, I didn't want you to leave.

Now, I don't know what I did that Saturday, but after that day, I heard no more from you. I gobbled down huge amounts of pride to cover for lunch and dinner and txted you, "what's up?" with a smiley every week or so, but always, I don't get any replies.

I missed you. I would never admit this to anyone, but I do. And I'm biting my lower lip as I'm typing this, but I guess I... love you. You're the little prince and you made me the fox. You tamed me. You left. And I miss you.

(for jm)