A Sestina Of Parting

This is my first sestina (a verse form in which the last word of each of the first six lines repeat in ever-changing sequence over the next verses and in one three-line endpiece). And this is written for... oh, you know who you are. You left as subtly as you came in. I will forever be grateful to you for making known to me your... SUBLIME brand of love.

--

It didn't come as a surprise, I must admit.
And it wasn't absolutely unexpected.
But please know that I was not totally deaf,
I was not totally unfeeling, and I indeed felt
the call of love though it was somehow foreign,
the love you brought. But I welcomed it, without a doubt.

I recall the feel of water, the dark looks of doubt.
But I swam none the less, though I did not admit
I longed for something else -- stronger, a power foreign,
a surprise, a cliff, or something unexpected --
which as it always did, render me frozen as I felt
it would; produce a blitzkrieg so loud leaving me deaf.

And you came in differently, you were not so deaf
as I thought you would be, which was a fatal doubt.
And you came in as subtle as white silk as I felt --
which was a little too much, and, I cannot admit,
also a little too less. It was unexpected
but I somehow appreciated the foreign

way you made yourself known in my heart -- a foreign
culture as a whole in which I thought I was deaf
to. And sometimes you would do something unexpected,
something so different that soon all traces of doubt
in me would vanish completely, making me admit
to myself that after a long time, I indeed felt

love. And I had strayed into a dream, and I felt
I was asleep, as peaceful in you, not so foreign
as you were before. Still I was unable to admit
that I longed to wake up. And the universe was deaf
but I did not mind, and I, devoid of any doubt,
continued my slumber with you, as unexpected.

Sometimes we wake up, absolutely unexpected.
Sometimes dreams fade in the morning half-light, as we felt
all the shadows return in contrast to all the doubt;
when light plays illusions without you feeling foreign.
And grateful for the dream, I revert to being deaf.
Don't get me wrong because I loved you, I can admit.

There was neither doubt, nor was there pain unexpected.
And I admit I loved you and happiness was what I felt.
But your love's forever foreign, and I forever deaf.