Dear Everyone I Hurt Or Upset In The Past Due To The Bad Decisions I Have Made,
You will all be happy to know that I have once again succeeded in making another Bad Decision and thus, shifting me in more miserable dimensions than I normally am coping with. The karmic retribution you have all been praying for is panning out real well, and it is evident through the strings of Bad Hair Days, nay, Bad Hair LIVES you have all voodooed me into having.
Currently, I remain in seclusion in my poorly-ventilated room with a whacked out electric fan and tick-infested bed. I do not go out except to occasionally feed on Yakisoba -- the only food I'm allowed to eat -- and pee and poop and shampoo and condition.
The only consolation I have is the Internet, but even that is also causing much misery because of the pain of having a slow dial-up connection.
Do not worry yourselves about me trying to escape my pseudo-radioactive prison, because I won't. I have finally accepted that the outside world is not for and does not want to have anything to do with me, and I shall remain a cyber hermit for the rest of my pretend-life. I will try my best not to bother anyone else, and I will keep my mutant power of Bad Decision Making in check at all times.
If, for any reason, you need consolation and reassurance of the sublimation of my evil deeds, just try to imagine how untamed my hair has become, and be at peace. Until such time that I will be forgiven (and I am willing to wait forever and for eternity) I am, and always will be,
In silence and solitude,
Podi Alejandro
PS: This much I dare confess... I have downloaded emulators and roms to lappie to keep me company, and to have somewhere to 'escape' to. Please don't think that this is my means to subvert your intentions. I assure you that I am still utterly and absolutely in misery, and I am playing Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time unwillingly with a walkthrough (gasp) to torture me with unending and merciless guilt.
PPS: And I still haven't had blueberry cheesecake.
