The 24th Year

Podi, you silly little boy. Were you ever really serious thinking that you could find whatever it was you were looking for just by going away? Haven't you learned anything at all? Sigh. You have to admit, it was still a wonderful three-day break for you. Baguio is very beautiful. Happy birthday indeed.

Opening Paths, Closing Doors

I told myself before I started this job that this was going to be temporary -- a filler, at least until I figure out what to do with my life. Well it's almost eight months since I've been here and I still haven't figured out what I should really be doing.

To be fair, being here opened up new paths for me and made me rediscover old ones as well. For instance, I realized how much I wanted to teach. (Maybe things like that really do run in the family.) The program is thinking of hiring new people, and it excites me to know that I will be handling that new batch. I haven't done anything formal yet, but being in front of a group of people and sharing things I know is not uncharted territory for me. As a matter of fact, it's a continent I'm willing to explore further. And this new possibility should give me the chance to do just that.

Also recently, someone I did freelance graphics work for months ago contacted me again for a possible new project. I'm not holding my breath for it since I could barely find time to do anything else other than my job now, but I still emailed him back, telling him I'd be willing to work with him again.

Now I took this as a nudge on the cosmos' part to make me buy a new computer -- which I did, just last week. My plans of saving up for a Mac was temporarily shelved, and I jumped into the foray of dual core processors. I geared myself up for serious digital graphic design damage and memory-hogging multimedia applications. Lappie taught me a lot about taking care of the things that are important to me and I am going to take care of this baby.

Speaking of lappie, he's still here, shadowing my new PC. I still use him sometimes, but I informally bequeathed him to my brother and sister. He has played a huge and significant part of my life that I can't even bear the thought of not seeing him anymore. He's here to stay as my best friend, brother, companion, and lover. :')

Sigh... Anyway, apart from teaching and doing graphic arts, I would still like to pursue web design. I can't even remember the last time I've written CSS, but I'm willing to dive into it again. I realize I have a lot of new things to catch up on, but I hope I will have enough time to do so.

And then the two things which I have grown to consider more than mere hobbies -- writing and sketching. I still doodle, and I still write a stanza or two on any piece of paper I can get my reluctant little hands on sometimes... but I feel as if it's not enough. Like I'm holding myself back. Like I've neglected something I still love -- even if that love may seem dormant now -- and broken away from any commitments I made with it in the past. I feel like I should say sorry, and do something to make up for what I did, or did not do.

So now that the cosmos has opened up new doors for me, I should think about which direction I should take the first step to -- like what I did eight months ago. But, as life is wont to do, anything new opened must mean something else must be closed. Moving on has always been a sad choice to make thus far.

Life's Simple Pleasures

Finally gotten around to doing this meme thing from my lovey-dovey. I'm afraid if I put it off any longer, he might deprive me of kissing privileges again. Goddess forbid I'd let that happen. So here goes.

•••
Ten of My Life's Simple Pleasures:
1. Drinking cold cold San Mig Light.
2. Drinking cold cold Mountain Dew.
3. The first minute after the end of a work week.
4. Singing any or all of the following songs in karaoke with friends:
       o Bituing Walang Ningning
       o Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas
       o Total Eclipse of the Heart
       o Anything AEGIS
       o Anything Spice Girls
5. Live bands in a not-so-crowded but nice enough bar.
6. Poetry readings.
7. Book sales.
8. Blueberry Cheesecake.
9. Dining out.
10. Hugs, kisses, thank yous, I love yous.

Cut or Uncut

Someone asked me about my hair and why I don't have it cut. Apart from looking like a nerdy, underfed, pale-skinned straight boy when I'm sporting short hair, growing it has become a promise -- a symbol if you will -- that if I believe in nothing, then at least I can believe I can grow my hair long.


and the whole point of this exercise is to try my
hand at photoshop again, plus a long overdue
camwhoring session

When Women Weep

Over the course of four days, four women have cried within my periphery. I do not, in any direct way, affect their lives. But for some cosmic reason, their threads managed to cross mine -- unbidden, but not necessarily unwelcomed.

It was disconcerting, to say the least. And it might appear like the universe is telling me something, like lines in an old movie bubbling their way to the surface of my brain... but to be quite honest, all four of them were crying over the same thing.

NO ONE LISTENS.

Open your ears, everyone. Start listening. You might hear something worth listening to. You might save a life.