I told myself before I started this job that this was going to be temporary -- a filler, at least until I figure out what to do with my life. Well it's almost eight months since I've been here and I still haven't figured out what I should really be doing.
To be fair, being here opened up new paths for me and made me rediscover old ones as well. For instance, I realized how much I wanted to teach. (Maybe things like that really do run in the family.) The program is thinking of hiring new people, and it excites me to know that I will be handling that new batch. I haven't done anything formal yet, but being in front of a group of people and sharing things I know is not uncharted territory for me. As a matter of fact, it's a continent I'm willing to explore further. And this new possibility should give me the chance to do just that.
Also recently, someone I did freelance graphics work for months ago contacted me again for a possible new project. I'm not holding my breath for it since I could barely find time to do anything else other than my job now, but I still emailed him back, telling him I'd be willing to work with him again.
Now I took this as a nudge on the cosmos' part to make me buy a new computer -- which I did, just last week. My plans of saving up for a Mac was temporarily shelved, and I jumped into the foray of dual core processors. I geared myself up for serious digital graphic design damage and memory-hogging multimedia applications. Lappie taught me a lot about taking care of the things that are important to me and I am going to take care of this baby.
Speaking of lappie, he's still here, shadowing my new PC. I still use him sometimes, but I informally bequeathed him to my brother and sister. He has played a huge and significant part of my life that I can't even bear the thought of not seeing him anymore. He's here to stay as my best friend, brother, companion, and lover. :')
Sigh... Anyway, apart from teaching and doing graphic arts, I would still like to pursue web design. I can't even remember the last time I've written CSS, but I'm willing to dive into it again. I realize I have a lot of new things to catch up on, but I hope I will have enough time to do so.
And then the two things which I have grown to consider more than mere hobbies -- writing and sketching. I still doodle, and I still write a stanza or two on any piece of paper I can get my reluctant little hands on sometimes... but I feel as if it's not enough. Like I'm holding myself back. Like I've neglected something I still love -- even if that love may seem dormant now -- and broken away from any commitments I made with it in the past. I feel like I should say sorry, and do something to make up for what I did, or did not do.
So now that the cosmos has opened up new doors for me, I should think about which direction I should take the first step to -- like what I did eight months ago. But, as life is wont to do, anything new opened must mean something else must be closed. Moving on has always been a sad choice to make thus far.
