Outside your window the circus crackles
and lurches with rings of smoke.
You laugh halfheartedly at the punchline
not realizing they've made you the joke.
Inside my heart a war is raging
in regions still untamed.
The worst fear I can imagine
is for the mystery to be named.
A Long Slow Slide, Jewel
Sunday afternoon, cats are all sleeping, and the Bunniez are out. I'm in the middle of a long weekend, and no plans have been shaping up as of yet. First two weeks of semi-independence have taken off smoothly, work still keeps people viciously high-strung, but the routinary activity can be somewhat comforting.
In a couple of weeks, I will be in my early late twenties. Probably the most useful philosophy I have learned thus far is to just let everything slide into place, and not resist so much. I think I have said "that's fine with me" often enough these past few years that where I am now has become a sum of benign apathy and pacifism.
I am not particularly sad, nor am I happy; I've found that both emotions have become quite tedious -- sometimes even terribly cumbersome -- that it's better just to settle for a snug, quiet place in the emotional middle.
Anyway, I might be sleeping in a bit. Maybe finish this book I've been reading for a couple of weeks now. Tonight, I might go out for dinner. It's a long, slow slide down, but that's fine with me.
