With all the changes you've been through,
it seems the stranger's always you.
Alone again in some new wicked little town.
Tommy Gnossis, from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
I was able to catch HSD over Y!M this morning. (My sleep was very restless and I was feeling more tired than rested, so I thought I'd just stay up from 3:00 AM until I had to prepare for work.) I asked him if he'd be comfortable telling me about it, this guy he "fell in so much love" with. I told him I needed to know. I felt like I needed to know -- that, after all that's been said, he at least owed me. He said he'd rather talk about it after class, later in the evening, although I doubt he'd still talk to me. (He removed me from his Friendster, after all. Yes, I don't know why he had to do that, either -- he did ask me if I would still like to be his friend. And yes, I think it's strange of me to bring up that little detail.)
Right now I'm at work, getting things done at a much slower pace than they actually need to be. I'm trying so very hard to keep things normal, trying not to let slip any clues that I'm breaking off, limb from limb. That my soul is writhing from loneliness and... envy. Envy, that someone else has been chosen as more deserving of a love I have worked very hard to reach.
