I feel like I'm in the middle of a tornado. I see a lot of terrible things flying around me, but I can't reach them, or catch them, or do anything about them at all.
Last night, I let down two people really close to me. One was on the verge of crying, and the other one... I don't know if I still have the other one, although I'm hoping against hope I still do.
What was I doing then, while the storm inside my mind was raging? I was... I was being SELFISH. I was being INDULGENT. I made a CHOICE. ME, over the people who needed me. That was what I was doing while everything was being whipped around by the apparent storm in my brain.
See, I'm just standing in the midst of it all, looking, reaching my hands up in vain, waiting for something to grab a hold of me while the tornado rages on with no hint of stopping. I move, and the tornado moves with me.
I can't help thinking... am I the one causing the storm? Or has the storm always been me?
