On Chocolates And The Purpose Of My Life

this is what i'm looking at right now. but what i actually wanted to show was the smoke. i thought how easy it would be, being smoke from hot chocolate. rising from something deliciously sensual, and ascending to the air to merge with something... cosmic, and then back again.

life is supposed to be that simple. to begin and end with a swirl of smoke. but i think i'm stuck in the boiling depths of dark chocolate -- beautiful, sweet, dirty, burning liquid chocolate... i live in its danger; i thrive in its lies of comfort; i feed on its maddeningly dark sweetness.

and there's no one else in it but me. where i am my own universe and i am my own god.

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i have given up on the world. it has nothing for me and i have nothing to give it as well, no matter what anyone would say otherwise. people always assume everyone has a purpose, just because they have found theirs. or they still cling to the hope that they do.

it is untrue that i do not believe in hope. i do as a matter of fact. as well as love. it's just that... it's not for me. i am merely here to see, to observe, and to chronicle its existence. it exists, as do i. and now that i have established that for myself, there is nothing else left for me to do.

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well bless my tarnished soul. i guess i do have a purpose after all. or rather, did.