Once Upon A Pushover

Oh my, I feel horrible. I slept when I got home this afternoon and did not wake up until around 10. When I did, I had this odd taste in my mouth and I knew the day (or night) does not bode well. I tried to stand up and I was hearing this sound like tribal drums in my ear. It felt like I was preparing for war.

War would have to wait until I finish taking a bath -- which wasn't such an easy feat to accomplish itself. While taking a dump and waiting for my water to heat up, I was thinking of my insane work scedule. Starting Sunday, my schedule will be back to 7AM again for one week. Someone from work swapped schedules with me temporarily because her sister is getting married next week. How could I refuse? Besides, she's a very nice person, and I'll be working nine hours only so it won't be too stressful.

Sigh. Why does it sound like I'm justifying myself? OK, I admit... I've always been a pushover. I'm the Yes-Guy. The Why Not Guy. The Guy You Can Ask A Favor From And He Wouldn't Complain At Least Not To Your Face Guy. Ella Enchanted should have been Podi Enchanted.

I hate it. I've always hated it. I know I'd always end up in the losing end but I'd just shrug it off. I'd think I don't have any reasons to decline anyway. At least, not at the moment. Say for example, last week, a friend borrowed money from me. I was like all uh-oh inside. I never liked the idea of borrowing money. For me, I'd rather give the money altogether than keep a tab. But anyway, I thought to myself, I don't have any reasons to decline anyway. Sure, I have my money budgeted for the next two weeks already but I can still get by if I part with some of it. So OK, I lent money to that friend.

Here's the catch though. Since I don't like the idea of borrowing money, my mind was already programmed that I'm already giving that to my friend. That I won't see it again. I feel bad, but hey it's a friend. And he asked nicely. And I can get by without it.

At least that's what I thought.

Right now my budget is all messed up. Why? Because when I got home the other day, my mother borrowed money from me. How could I refuse? So I have nothing to budget anymore. Problem solved.

Argh. I hate being such a pushover. I promise I won't interact with anyone that much anymore. I will keep quiet. I will just sit and listen to iPod and pretend I'm not hearing people in the office. Good luck talking to me.