heaven's not enough
if when you get there,
just another blue
and heaven's not enough
you think you've found it
and it loses you
you've thought of all there is
but not enough
and it loses you in a cloud
-- heaven's not enough, steve conte
My friend's right. I always think I'm right when what I really am is imposing. And it's not always the case when something is right that it's the best way to go. Nope, reality check: loving someone is not enough. Never enough.
So what comes next? I don't know. Maybe I should work on myself first. Maybe I should try figring out what to do with my life first. It could take a long time, and a big chunk out of my time alive. Possibly, it could take forever figuring that out, no exaggerations. So, am I really willing to do that?
Either that, or I should revert to a more 'ordinary' life. Something more simple, less complicated than what I'm dealing with now. But that's what my friend mentioned too -- that being ordinary is not an easy thing to achieve. Being ordinary is a challenge in itself. So if it is, what's left for me to do?
Seems like it's such a silly question right? I should just pick a path and go with it. But no, it's not that simple. It never is. I STILL HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH. Selfish, avoidant, escapist little me, always wanting to live in fiction, always wanting to go the easy way.
Sigh.
Anyway... in other news, I need to get new earphones for my iPod and I also need to upgrade lappie -- both of which I'm expecting would cost a lot of money. Apple products don't come cheap, and I heard that parts for laptops are hard to come by, making them very expensive as well.
No, I don't need psychotherapy to be happy. I don't need religion either. I NEED MONEY TO BE HAPPY. :-P
