"Happiness has come to this and God, it's such a heavy burden to bear."
-- Abra Moore, Happiness
ok. i'm basically a good guy, right? and i believe everyone around me is nice too. conflicts happen when individual perspectives don't really align that well, but it's only normal, and more often than not, i accept it. but yeah, basically i'm a good person, and i'd like to believe the people i consider friends are good as well.
sometimes they may act really bitchy, really mataray, or sometimes they would act like the whole world revolves around them (and they don't even notice they think this way), or the whole world has a conspiracy bent on making their lives miserable... but since i believe they're basically good, and they don't mean to be that way, and at the outset, they're just concerned for their own welfare and the welfare of the people around them... I WON'T TAKE IT AGAINST THEM.
i get angry, sure. i get pissed off once in a while. i'm only mostly bag of water like the next guy. prick me, i bleed and all that bullshiot. and when i'm stressed out, i don't make any attempts to hide it at all, but for the sake of all that is good in this world, i try my very best to work with things as proactively as i can...
what gets to me is IT TAKES SUCH A TOLL ON MY MIND. if people around me are breaking down, and i let myself go as well, everything good that i believe in, that i have learned, will just COME UNDONE!
i will say it again... i still have a lot to learn. i firmly accept that. i am honestly looking forward to each and every bleeding minute of it. but basically, BASICALLY i know how to keep myself sane for the meantime. and i do whatever i can to help my friends.
please, please, please i just need enough strength not to let myself go again. i don't want to go back down there.
