Ode To Being A Newbie

if there's one feeling i'm totally afraid of, it's the feeling of being a newbie. starting with a blank sheet of paper, not knowing how the lines will pan out once you're done with a few strokes. not knowing how other people will see it.

if one thinks about it, one should welcome new beginnings. a chance to redeem oneself from the backlogs of the past. starting over. for me, i can even think about it as faking my death and starting a whole new life somewhere. it's as profound as that. for me that is.

naturally, beginning something new doesn't necessarily mean the new path taken will be a brighter one than the one you left. it might be just as perilous, or maybe even worse. but we don't know that. (and if there's one thing i've learned from my life before, it's not to get ahead of myself too much.) the thought that you're given another chance to face life head on would be enough to push you through this new experience.

but then again, we're back to the first point. the scary feeling of being a newbie. of being a kid again. i hope people understand that feeling like a kid would make me more or less act like one. that is, being curious about everything and asking a lot of questions, no matter how inane.

sometimes even acting recklessly. reverting to my old self.

only better. :P